So I left my cart and carried her and Aimee to the car. She was crying, and I felt so bad! I gave her some tylenol, and promised a burrito, then she stopped crying, and even smiled! So I called Jon to tell him what happened, and I don't know! I mean, I saw her falling, and land, but my brain just didn't process it or something. She had a huge bump on her forehead, and I thought she landed on her back. She fell out of her crib like a year ago too, and the same thing happened, I saw it, but I couldn't tell you what I saw. Am I just blocking it out? Anyway, I hope I am never the sole witness to some crime, because I will be no help.
Also, we went to the park with our friends yesterday, and we were running around (I was chasing her, which again makes me feel like a GREAT mom) and she fell on the sidewalk. She always has a lot of momentum falling, and she falls on her knees, then her head follows shortly. So yesterday she got this bump on her head, and her nose is scraped up. On top of that, her cheeks were all red later, and I think it was a tiny sunburn. (which was just confirmed by my red scalp) And I am the one who is normally so anal about sunscreen! Side note, we had so much fun! Thanks Heather and Rebecca!
Here she is showing off her "bonk"
And a cute one of the two, just because.
(yes I know that's a pacifier, and no, I'm not taking it from her yet!)
I guess I'm just feeling like kind of a crappy mom. Let me first say, I've got pretty good self-esteem, Most of the time I err on the side of thinking I'm too awesome. But being a mom is hard, and having not much sleep makes it harder. And I hate being grumpy, but I am. I just wanted to say, I'm not depressed, I don't think I'm terrible, but some days I just suck at mommy-ing. I would like to assume we all have those kinds of days, right? They just happen far too often to me for my liking. Generally, I think I'm a good parent, but I'm controlling. I never thought that would be my issue, but it totally is. I want things to go MY way! And I've got a 2 year old who wants things to go HER way! You can imagine how that ends up, right? So I'm trying hard to stick to my new mantra, "You can't control your children, you can only control yourself". So if she wants to run and pick a flower before she gets in the car, I let her. If she wants to wrap herself in Aimee's blankets, I let her. If she wants to play in the mud, that's where I draw the line!
Anyway, I didn't post anything on Mother's day, so here it is, a couple days late:
Mom, I love you! You are one of my best friends, and you were my only friend when I moved away. I appreciate all you've done for me, and realize it's way too much to even try to list. And thanks for keeping me when I was a constantly screaming baby, because I'm pretty sure I would have given me away :) Thanks for being so nice to me, and doing things no one else would. Just in case you didn't know, you are awesome.
Jon's mom, thanks for raising such a great son. He's the best, and I love him so much. And thanks for all your help with everything! We love you!
9 comments:
Reading this sounds like my life. If you ever look at Leah's legs they are always covered in bruises because she falls all the time, having hard wood floors doesn't help. Now that she plays outside more she has a permenant skinned knee because she wants to wear dresses all the time. I finally got some cute bandaids to cover the larger bruises when we go out.
I know what you mean about being grumpy and controlling. I have those days as well and I am just so thankful that children are so forgiving and don't hold grudges. It gives me a chance to start fresh the next day.
By the way, here is that recipe. I halfed it and it was still a ton of marinade I could have halfed it again I think. I just marinated the chicken for about 2 hours and made the kebobs with peppers, red onion, tomatoes, and mushrooms (What ever veggies you want) and broiled it for a few minutes. http://www.cooks.com/rec/doc/0,161,144162-253203,00.html
Amanda Kadee is exactly the same way. She is always covered in bruises and bumps cuts scrapes and burns, you name it shes got it! I feel like a failure not being able to protect her from getting hurt ALL the time but i realized that shes got to learn which i know sounds bad but I cant teach her everything. I feel like you wrote everything I was feeling, fresh out of my brain. Somedays I just want to shut down completely and not care and let her run free. Kadee just has way too much energy for me I can never keep up, its even worse when im feeding kloe cause kadee knows i cant come after her. Keep trying to survive I think thats all we can do!
Jordyn always has a million bruises up and down her legs, too! I dread summer when she wears shorts because I am afraid people will think the same things. But I think it just means they play alot and are rough and tough kids. You are a great mom! Your girls are soooo cute!
I know what you mean about the kids getting bumps and bruises. When one of the boys gets a black eye because he ran straight into the corner of the table, I'm afraid to leave the house with him because I'm worried people will think I abuse my kids.
Ethan is another bruised up kid! He trips all the time when we're walking/playing. His scrape on his head just went away.
Diego's legs are perma-bruised, too. His skin is really sensitive and he bruises super easily. I think it's just inevitable. You're a great mommy! Your girls are beautiful and super smart. You're doing a fabulous job. :)
I have a few comments on this subject. The first is Lucy's head looked pretty beat up after yesterday as well. She fell backwards into her dresser and so she has a big bump on her head around a cut the handle made. Then I was holding her and she bent forward onto my nail (I know that doesn't sound like her fault but I didn't have time to move my hand from the dish I was holding). So now she has a big scrape from my nail on her forehead that is scabbed over. Add her runny nose in the mix and she looks like a mess. I am sorry Katie fell twice that day though, I know what you mean about seeing something and not being able to act. Lucy dived off the couch when she was only a few months old and I just watched her take the dive. I froze and didn't know what happened till it was over. So unless we are both bad mom's I think we are okay!
I also wanted to mention that my mom always told me that I was like what you are explaining Katie is-always looks like she is abused. She would say if there was a corner in our house, my head would find it. I broke my nose twice before I entered pre-school from falling down. I would say there is hope for Katie, but just yesterday I found a bloody cut on my hand and have not the slightest clue where it came from (I don't notice when I get hurt anymore it happens so much). Tyler says I look like I am the ball in a pin-ball machine when I walk down the hall-I seriously have issues!
Not that this is at all comforting, but I am still in one piece. I have only broken my toes, ankles and nose-nothing too serious considering all there is to break! Katie will be just fine in the end!
PS My mom would advise you not to ask your doctor about something being wrong with your child for always getting hurt--hers just starred at her like she was an idiot!
PSS Sorry this is so long, I should have made it an email.
I forget to check your blog--these are still new to me. While reading your last posting I smiled, laughed, and felt so thankful to have such an awesome daughter-in-law! You are the BEST!
Deja'Vue! This happened to us in Ross last fall. I was elsewhere in the store and walking back to find my fam, when I found Rob looking ashen and holding Alyssa who was bawling very loudly. I assumed she was just being dramatic, until he told me how he was watching her in the basket of the cart, and he saw her lean forward and totally flip head over heals over the front and land on her head and back on the cement floor. It freaked him out so bad because he was right there, but it happened so fast he couldn't reach her in time! So close yet he couldn't do anything. We watched her really closely and held her, I guess you watch for eyes dialating inconsistantly, continued pain, etc. We really need to do a toddler safety FHE or something because we too feel so ignorant too!! She has a scar on her forehead from hitting the sink on Thanksgiving night. That was a very ugly bump..but no concussion. We were so close to taking her to ER. Mom tells me this is the age where they are so top heavy their heads just constantly get bruised with one event after another. Poor kids! So don't feel its your fault. :) By the way, that pic of your girls in the crib is so adorable and hilarious, you got some dang cute kids, Manda!
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